I think i know what my next career move ordain be. This is as I am led to believe a genuine earn Ok its technically politics but I thought you all might sight it amusing.
My friend who is farming at the moment recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs. I would now like to join the ‘not rearing pigs’ business.
In your opinion what is the beat kind of farm not to rear pigs on and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this assay in keeping with all government policies as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.
I would like not to straighten bacon pigs but if this is not the write you want not rearing. I ordain just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots or are there too many populate already not rearing these?
As I see it the hardest part of this programme ordain be keeping an accurate preserve of how many pigs I haven’t reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this? My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is – until this year when he received a cheque for not rearing any. If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100?
I intend to direct on a small scale at first holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised which will convey about £240,000 for the first year. As I change state more expert in not rearing pigs. I plan to be more ambitious perhaps increasing to say. 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department.
Incidentally. I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all those pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases? Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I answer for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don’t rear?
I am also considering the ‘not milking cows’ business so please displace any information you have on that too. Please could you also consider the current DEFRA advice on set-aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?
In view of the above you ordain realise that I will be totally unemployed and ordain therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your celebrate at the next command election.
It' s been done beforeCheck out chapter 9 of Joseph Heller's schedule. Catch 22. In it Majors Major's create was paid by the US Government for NOT growing alfala. A great book to read written in the early 60's it's comfort very funny and in many ways relevant to todays society. Quote 1"The ennoble gave us good farmers two strong hands so that we could take as much as we could grab with both of them". ingeminate 2"If the ennoble didn't want us to take as much as we could get he wouldn't have given us farmers two good hands to take as much as we could get". Terry
The one L Lama he's a priestthe two L Llama he's a beast but I will bet a silk pajamayou will never see a three L Lllama !! (unless its in the Gruadian)
Our family has been virtual farming since January. The crops even grow while your not logged on so you can be having meetings at work but comfort be playing the bet at the same time without them realising and the IT guys can't do anything about it iether its kind of a virtual virtual farm.
yes excellent!!!! gotta say that i myself was thinking of a career move,into retail pr i was thinking marks and sparks food department beefing up the information on their servings guesstimate..... typical ordain be the little gateau that currently contains twenty servings this will read twenty servings to ray mears new bestest mate the hungry one write.... know who i mean????the other revolutionary change would be i could maybe establish a mark new range of beautiful prepacked pre- eaten meals this follows the bespeak for these from ray himself could it possibly be that the great one could maybe benefit from my new range???
I wouldn't mind trying this sort of farming too - but I'm scared I'd wouldn't make "not a pig's ear" of it! (I'm a bit ham-fisted at practical things)Soggy
Subsidy farming is the main source of income here in the sticks. It is unprofitable to straighten crops and animals. My friend and very profitable neighbour Richard only farms in such a way that he can acquire maximum subsidies. If he happens to rear animals or change crops along the way then that is one of the inconviencies of farming as you then have to deal with the result. The main aim of 21st century farming is to collect subsidies. Not rear animals or crops. They are simply a by product. In other words profitable farming is about gathering subsidies.
Another dwell had a go of several hundred sheep until she decided some four years ago to change them. After she sold them a subsidy was introduced for hill sheep. As she had sheep on the date the subsidy could be claimed for (it was a backdated subsidy) she got the subsidy change surface though she did not want it. Not only that but she is still getting her subsidy (to rear sheep she does not have) but she will keep on getting it for five years as this is the minimum period it can be granted. As the subsidy was tide to the be of sheep she had at that time it was guaranted. Now the EU has changed the subsidy system from headage (be of animals) to one of acreage. As she was understocked (according to the headage agreement) she is now being compensated by an increase in susbsidies under the new system which is based on arrive ownership. In otherwords she was granted an increase because she was keeping less animals than she could undergo under the old system. change surface though when the subsidies started she had no sheep.
Subsidy farming is the main obtain of income here in the sticks. It is unprofitable to rear crops and animals. My friend and very profitable neighbour Richard only farms in such a way that he can obtain maximum subsidies. If he happens to rear animals or grow crops along the way then that is one of the inconviencies of farming as you then have to deal with the prove. The main aim of 21st century farming is to collect subsidies. Not straighten animals or crops. They are simply a by product. In other words profitable farming is about gathering subsidies.
Another neighbour had a flock of several hundred sheep until she decided some four years ago to change them. After she sold them a subsidy was introduced for hill sheep. As she had sheep on the go out the subsidy could be claimed for (it was a backdated subsidy) she got the subsidy even though she did not want it. Not only that but she is still getting her subsidy (to straighten sheep she does not have) but she will keep on getting it for five years as this is the minimum period it can be granted. As the subsidy was tide to the number of sheep she had at that measure it was guaranted. Now the EU has changed the subsidy system from headage (number of animals) to one of acreage. As she was understocked (according to the headage agreement) she is now being compensated by an increase in susbsidies under the new system which is based on land ownership. In otherwords she was granted an change magnitude because she was keeping less animals.
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